“Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett
The word ‘Love’ can be such a misused word - I don’t believe I’m wrong in saying few of us truly understand what love is. How many of us unconsciously seek love and acceptance from others before we can feel whole, or worthy? How often do we sabotage ourselves by being too self-critical and setting our self-standards too high? In our own eyes we often don’t match up to the image that we or society says we should be. If, instead of seeking love and acceptance from others, we were encouraged early in life to focus on loving ourselves and working on accepting who and what we are, we may be more content with our lives.
The thought patterns we develop can enhance or sabotage the feelings we develop about ourselves. Self-love starts with self-acceptance – the acceptance of who and what we are. If we are able let go of harsh self-judgment thought patterns we can begin to see ourselves in a more compassionate and loving way. After all, we know intrinsically that none of us is a perfect being, it’s impossible to achieve perfection, yet we continuously look for the flaws in ourselves while seeking that elusive state of perfection.
Self-love isn’t actually about looking in a mirror and hoping to see physical beauty reflected back at us. It’s about accepting ourselves knowing that in God’s eyes we are perfect. Once we can accept this we can recreate a revised image of our true selves.
Self-love is also about self-care, the act of honouring ourselves for who we are. This can take many forms, for example, not letting others take advantage of us in any way. It’s about knowing when enough is enough and being able to set limits on our time and ourselves, having the ability and courage to say ‘No’. The ability to say ‘no’ is an important aspect of our well-being, as it is an indication that we understand the true value of our energy, our talents, and our time. Rewarding ourselves for the efforts we make is another way we can acknowledge that we honour our existence.
Our self-image is a combination of our physical form and our energetic vibration. It informs the world of who we are, what we think of ourselves, and how we expect to be treated. It’s also about expecting respect from others. If our self-image is not congruent with our inner self, our vibration will feel depleted, worn out, and subdued.
Instead of seeking validation of our worth from others and settling for what we or others think we deserve, we need to recreate our self-image to radiate a positive and contented outlook that allows us to get what we really want. By recreating our poor self-image, we can get in touch with our true spirit, thereby creating lasting enthusiasm, contentment and satisfaction. Believe it or not, we already hold this power within us. We just need to tap into the right heart energy.
Naturally, what we think about ourselves internally has a large bearing on what we project to the world. Furthermore, negative self-talk and our failure to acknowledging our natural gifts or talents achieves nothing positive except preventing us from achieving what we are capable of. And yes, I have been there and at time still face the demon of self-depreciation.
Unfortunately, as I have realised, changing our long-standing habits of negative self-talk can be challenging. As with change of any kind it takes take time and effort. I’ve learned that if we can clear our mind of thoughts that do not serve our goal and acknowledge the meaningfulness of our existence, that we in fact do matter, we can more easily develop an attitude of self-acceptance and self-love. Yes, it can be an ongoing battle but definitely a battle worth fighting.